New Words for Search Experts

July 22, 2012

A happy quack to business Insider. The collection of terms in “20 Hilarious Programming Jargon Phrases You Should Use When Talking To Engineers” will revivify search, analytics, and content marketing. I look forward to search vendors reinventing themselves as predictive analytics, business intelligence, and customer support solutions companies crafting this type of marketing collateral:

  1. In a PowerPoint, “We use Jenga code to activate our special features for gold status customers.” Translation: You change one thing and the system implodes. You call us and we fix it over the weekend and outside of normal work hours billing at three times the normal support fee.
  2. On a blog, “Our common law feature activates when a user modifies a report template.” Translation: If you recolor one slice of a pie chart, you will lose your work. Forever.
  3. In a user forum as an answer to a question: “The hydra operation automatically introduces additional dependencies which may lead to an opportunity to restore the data set.” Translation: fix one thing and break two more.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your marketing engines.

Stephen E Arnold, July 22, 2012

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