IBM Watson: Some Old People Like Me Are Lonely and AI Will Not Reveal the Depths of My Despair at Crazy Marketing

October 9, 2020

Forbes, the capitalist tool and the fave read of AOC, reports that smart software can identify old people who are lonely. “Artificial Intelligence Used to Predict Loneliness in Senior Citizens” breaks this heart-stopping news:

the study by researchers from the University of California, IBM and elsewhere could prove vital in helping society assess and address widespread loneliness.

Apparently the experts have never visited a warehouse for elders (aka “nursing home” or “retirement community”). Some old people appear to be lonely. I am qualified to make this observation based on personal experience because I am going to be 77 in a few weeks.

Ask me, “Are you lonely?”

I will reply, “Where’s IBM Watson? That’s the technology I need to figure out if I am going to die of heartbreak while wearing an adult diaper, sitting in a lime gray green room, watching a flickering cathode ray heart monitor.

The write up points out:

For the purposes of the study, the researchers interviewed 80 residents at an independent living sector of a senior housing community in San Diego County. They asked questions intended to gauge various aspects of loneliness, with the answers being transcribed and then analyzed using the IBM Watson NLU (natural language understanding) iv program, which could “quantify sentiment and expressed emotions.”

Some old people are deaf; others are lost in misfiring neuronal noise.

But IBM Watson can figure out that some old people are lonely.

The write up pulls back from pure balderdash by asserting:

But while AI, virtual reality, and other technologies can certainly be used to detect problems, we need to remember that most of our problems aren’t caused by a lack of tech.

Right, pacemakers and electric wheelchairs cannot do it all. Not even the ever cheerful and uplifting Facebook can make some people not lonely. No bowling alone, please.

It’s great that IBM Watson has moved from matching people to stray dogs. Progress. But what about those Covid treatments facilitated by IBM Watson. Remember? Even oldsters like me recall that IBM Watson assertion.

Stephen E Arnold, October 9, 2020

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