Google Gems: February 5 to 9, 2024
February 13, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
Google tallied another bumper week of innovations, news, and management marvels. Let’s take a look.
WE HAVE OUR ACT TOGETHER
The principal story concerns Google’s “answer” to the numerous competitors for smart software. The Gemini subscription service has arrived. Fourteen months after Microsoft caught Googzilla napping near the Foosball table, the quantum supremacy outfit has responded. Google PR received accolades in the Wired article explaining Google’s monumental achievement: A subscription service like OpenAI’s and Microsoft’s.
And in a twist of logic, Google has allegedly alerted users of Gemini (the answer to MSFT and ChatGPT) not to provide confidential or personal data to a Gemini service. With logging, Google’s learning user behaviors, and users general indifference to privacy issues associated with any Web service — why is a special warning needed? “Google Warning: Do Not Divulge Confidential Info or Personal Data When Using Gemini” reports:
Users can also turn off Gemini Apps Activity to stop the collection of conversations but even when it is disabled, Gemini conversations continue to be saved for up to 72 hours to "maintain the safety and security of Gemini apps and improve Gemini apps."
Toss in Google human review and what do you get? A Googley service with a warning.
Google inspects its gems. Thanks MSFT Copilot. Good enough.
Second, Google has alleged been taking some liberties with data captured from Danish schools. (Imagine that!) The students use Chromebooks, and these devices seem to be adept at capturing data no matter what the Danish IT administrators do. For reference, see the item about confidential and personal data above, please. “Denmark Orders Schools to Stop Sending Student Data to Google” reports:
Also, given that restricting sensitive data processing on Google’s end will be hard, if not impossible, for municipalities to assure, there may be no practical way to adhere to the new policies without blocking the use of Google Chromebooks and/or Google Workspace.
Yes, the act is indeed together. Words do not change data collection it seems.
Third, Google published a spyware report. You can download the document from this link. In addition to naming the names of vendors with specialized tools, Google does little to explain why Android based devices are protected from these firms’ software. My thought is that since Google knows what these companies are doing, Google has been making its users and customers more secure. Perhaps Google’s management thinks that talking about spyware is the same as protecting users and customers. The identified vendors are probably delighted to receive free publicity. To Google’s credit it did test a process for protecting users from financial fraud. The report is highlighted with the news about more Chrome security problems.
Google management is the best.
PRODUCT GEMS
I don’t want to overlook Google’s ability to make meaning innovations.
Out of the blocks, I want to mention Google’s announcement that it will create an app for Apple’s $3,500 smart goggles. Google Glass apparently provided some inspiration to the savvy iTunes people.
A second innovation is Google’s ability to deliver higher quality to YouTube streaming video. The service requires paying more money to the Google, but that’s part of the company’s plan to grow despite increasing competition and cost control challenges. Will Google’s method work if the streamer has lousy bandwidth? Sure, sure, Google has confidence in its capabilities despite issues solely within the control of its users and customers.
A third innovation is that Google may offer seven years of updates to Pixel phone users. OnePlus management thinks this is baloney. Seven years is a long time in a Googley world. A quick review of the fate of the Google cache and other products killed by Google reminds one of Google’s concept of commitment. (One rumor is that killing the Google cache extricated Google from paywall bypass services.) The question is, “Will Pinpoint be a Googley way to get information from paywalled content. What is Pinpoint? The explanation is at a really popular site called Journalist Studio. Everyone knows that.
A fourth item repeats an ever more frequent refrain: Google search is meh. Some, however, are just calling the service broken.
Fifth, Google Maps are getting more features. Google Maps for Android mobiles can now display the weather. One may not be able to locate a destination, but one knows the weather.
Sixth, in a breakthrough of significant proportions, Google has announced a new Pixel variant which folds and sports a redesigned camera island. This is not a bump. It is an island obviously.
SERVICE PEARLS
Google continues it march to be the cable service for streaming.
First, Google suggested it had more than eight million “subscribers.” Expressed another way, YouTube is fourth among pay television services.
Also, Google has expressed a desire to get more viewer time than it has in the past.
For those who fancy Google-intermediated ads on Pinterest, that day has arrived.
COURT ACTIVITY
Google continues to be of interest to regulatory officials.
First, Google faces an anti trust trial in the US. The matter is related to the Google’s approach to digital advertising. Advertising, after 25 years of trying to diversify its revenue, still accounts for more than 60 percent of the firm’s revenue.
Second, Google paid to settle a class action lawsuit. The matter was a security failure for a now-dead service called Google Plus. How much did the Google pay? Just $350 million or a month of coffee for thirsty Googlers (estimated, of course).
What will Google do this week? Alas, I cannot predict the future like some savvy bloggers.
Stephen E Arnold, February 13, 2024
Can Googzilla Read a Manifesto and Exhibit Fear?
February 7, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
Let’s think about scale. A start up wants to make a dent in Google’s search traffic. The start up has 2,000 words to blast away at the Google business model. Looking at the 2,000 words from a search tower buttressed by Google’s fourth quarter 2023 revenues of $86.31 billion (up 13% year over the same period in 2022). Does this look like a mismatch? I think it is more of a would-be competitor’s philosophical view of what should be versus what could be. Microsoft Bing is getting a clue as well.
Viewed from the perspective of a student of Spanish literature, the search start up may be today’s version of Don Quixote. The somewhat addled Alonso Quijano pronounced himself a caballero andante or what fans of chivalry in the US of A call a knight errant. What’s errant? In the 16th century, “errant” was self appointed, a bit like a journalism super star who road to fame on the outputs of the unfettered Twitter service and morphs into a pundit, a wizard, a seer.
A modern-day Don Quixote finds himself in an interesting spot. The fire-breathing dragon is cooking its lunch. The bold knight explains that the big beastie is toast. Yeah. Thanks, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. Actually good enough today. Wow.
With a new handle, Don Quixote leaves the persona of Sr. Quijano behind and goes off the make Spain into a better place. The cause of Spanish angst is the windmill. The good Don tries to kill the windmills. But the windmills just keep on grinding grain. The good Don fails. He dies. Ouch!
I thought about the novel when I read “The Age of PageRank is Over [Manifesto].” The author champions a Web search start up called Kagi. The business model of Kagi is to get people to pay to gain access to the Kagi search system. The logic of the subscription model is that X number of people use online search. If our system can get a tiny percentage of those people to pay, we will be able to grow, expand, and deliver good search. The idea is that what Google delivers is crappy, distorted by advertisers who cough up big bucks, and designed to convert more and more online users to the One True Source of Information.
The “manifesto” says:
The websites driven by this business model became advertising and tracking-infested giants that will do whatever it takes to “engage” and monetize unsuspecting visitors. This includes algorithmic feeds, low-quality clickbait articles (which also contributed to the deterioration of journalism globally), stuffing the pages with as many ads and affiliate links as possible (to the detriment of the user experience and their own credibility), playing ads in videos every 45 seconds (to the detriment of generations of kids growing up watching these) and mining as much user data as possible.
These indeed are the attributes of Google and similar advertising-supported services. However, these attributes are what make stakeholders happy. These business model components are exactly what many other companies labor to implement and extend. Even law enforcement likes Google. At one conference I learned that 92 percent of cyber investigators rely on Google for information. If basic Google sucks, just use Google dorks or supplementary services captured in OSINT tools, browser add ins, and nifty search widgets.
Furthermore, switching from one search engine is not a matter of a single click. The no-Google approach requires the user pick a path through a knowledge mine field; for example:
- The user must know what he or she does invokes Google. Most users have no clue where Google fits in one’s online life. When told, those users do not understand.
- The user must identify or learn about one or more services that are NOT Google related.
- The user must figure out what makes one “search” service better than another, not an easy task even for alleged search experts
- The user must make a conscious choice to spit out cash
- The user must then learn how to get a “new” search system to deliver the results the user (trained and nudged by Google for 90 percent of online users in the US and Western Europe)
- The user must change his or her Google habit.
Now those six steps may not seem much of a problem to a person with the neurological wiring of Alonso Quijano or Don Quixote in more popular parlance. But from my experience in online and assorted tasks, these are tricky obstacles to scale.
Back to the Manifesto. I quote:
Nowadays when a user uses an ad-supported search engine, they are bound to encounter noise, wrong and misleading websites in the search results, inevitably insulting their intelligence and wasting their brain cycles. The algorithms themselves are constantly leading an internal battle between optimizing for ad revenue and optimizing for what the user wants.
My take on this passage is that users are supposed to know when they “encounter noise, wrong and misleading websites in the search results.” Okay, good luck with that. Convenience, the familiar, and easy everything raises electrified fences. Users just do what they have learned to do; they believe what they believe; and they accept what others are doing. Google has been working for more than two decades to develop what some call a monopoly. I think there are other words which are more representative of what Google has constructed. That’s why I don’t put on my armor, get a horse, and charge at windmills.
The Manifesto points to a new future for search; to wit:
In the future, instead of everyone sharing the same search engine, you’ll have your completely individual, personalized Mike or Julia or Jarvis – the AI. Instead of being scared to share information with it, you will volunteer your data, knowing its incentives align with yours. The more you tell your assistant, the better it can help you, so when you ask it to recommend a good restaurant nearby, it’ll provide options based on what you like to eat and how far you want to drive. Ask it for a good coffee maker, and it’ll recommend choices within your budget from your favorite brands with only your best interests in mind. The search will be personal and contextual and excitingly so!
Right.
However, here’s the reality of doing something new in search. An outfit like Google shows up. The slick representatives offer big piles of money. The start up sells out. What happens? Where’s Dodgeball now? Transformics? Oingo? The Google-type outfits buy threats or “innovators”. Google then uses what it requires. The result?
Google-type companies evolve and remain Googley. Search was a tough market before Google. My team built technology acquired by Lycos. We were fortunate. Would my team do Web search today? Nope. We are working on a different innovative system.
The impact of generative information retrieval applications is difficult to predict. New categories of software are already emerging; for example, the Arc AI search browser innovation. The software is novel, but I have not installed it. The idea is that it is smart and will unleash a finding agent. Maybe this will be a winner? Maybe.
The challenge is that Google and its “finding” functions are woven into many applications that don’t look like search. Examples range from finding an email to the new and allegedly helpful AI additions to Google Maps. If someone can zap Googzilla, my thought is that it will be like the extinction event that took care of its ancestors. One day, nice weather. The next day, snow. Is a traditional search engine enhanced with AI available as a subscription the killer asteroid? One of the techno feudalists will probably have the technology to deflect or vaporize the intruder. One cannot allow Googzilla to go hungry, can one?
Manifestos are good. The authors let off steam. Unfortunately getting sustainable revenues in a world of techno feudalists is, in my opinion, as difficult as killing a windmill. Someone will collect all the search manifestos and publish a book called “The End of Googzilla.” Yep, someday, just not at this time.
PS. There are angles to consider, just not the somewhat tired magazine subscription tactic. Does anyone care? Nah.
Stephen E Arnold, February 7, 2024
Google Gems for 6 February 2024
February 6, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
The Google has been busy. In order to provide an easy way to highlight groups of Googley action, we have grouped these into four clusters. These are arbitrary. Links are provided to the source of the gems.
Looking for Google Gems, a creation of MSFT Copilot Bing thing.
BIG MOVES
In the last week, everyone’s favorite online advertising entity worked tirelessly to demonstrate its lovable nature. Here are several big moves my research team and I found notable:
The first item concerns the estimable Google Play “store.” Customers were able to download what The Sun described as “spy apps.” What’s this situation, if true, say about Google’s ability to screen apps for its store? To learn more, navigate to this link.
The second “big” item is that Google’s management expertise was on display at an “all hands” meeting. According to Inc. Magazine:
“We’re talking about simplifying areas where we have unnecessary layers and removing bureaucracy to make sure the company works better,” Pichai said. The thing is, the only reason any of that is true is because Google has built that bureaucracy and added those layers. That didn’t happen on accident. It happened over time as the company grew and added managers and processes and products. It happened because of intentional choices about how to run the business. It just turns out that some of those choices didn’t pan out. “Part of leadership is also making the tough decisions that are needed,” Pichai said in response to one question.
The munchkins at the Google do not seem to be happy. Whose fault is this? I assume that the 23andMe approach is the explanation: “It’s your fault.”
The third item illustrates Google’s deft tactical actions when “responsible innovation” needs amping up. According to Wired Magazine, Google split up the team. If you are Google, creating a duplicative structure makes perfect sense particularly in the artificial intelligence sector. More complexity is a plus I assume.
The fourth item touches upon Google’s effort to make sure its users don’t wander off the reservation. The PressGazette reports:
Google is planning to force news publishers to group their websites into sets of five if they want to use certain functions in its new Privacy Sandbox online advertising system, which it has proposed will replace cookie functionality. Each group of five will then be published on GitHub, the coding website, where anyone will be able to see them.
The final Brobdingnagian item is Google’s unsurprising appeal of its recent jury trial loss to Epik, the online game outfit. No surprise, of course, but it’s the spirit of the Google which I find admirable: Never give up when one has numerous lawyers.
HELPING USERS
Google cares about its users. Users equal revenue. This is a basic fact among those who understand the company’s motivations. Let’s run down a handful of user-centric actions:
First, Google has dumped public access to cached Web pages, according to SERoundTable. The work-around is for the user to go to the woefully incomplete Internet Archive which is a far from comprehensive repository of Web pages. Helpful.
Second, users of Google Pixel phones or some Samsung mobiles. What about users of other Android devices? Sorry, according to Forbes, you are out of luck.
Third, Google and AI aggregator Hugging Face are cozying up in the cloud. Will this have an impact on the competitive AI space? Of course, not. Read more in the Verge, the explanation for the informed elite.
Fourth, Google has a “secret” browser. Learn more from Matan-h. Is this the first one? Nope, the second.
Fifth, if you own a Samsung TV and used the Google Assistant, you may have to find a new helper. TomsGuide.com reports that Google is removing this feature.
Sixth, Google’s smart watch can be used as — wait for it — a television remote. Learn more from Techradar.
Finally, Google continues its war against ad blockers. The goal is revenue. The AndroidPolice thinks the Google is behaving in a less than user-friendly way. Imagine that.
HORN TOOTING
Last week displayed some subdued Google horn toots. Let’s take a look:
Google is strapping AI to Google Maps. The idea is to make suggestions. What if a person just wants directions? Dumb question. Users will get smart recommendations. For a breathy explanation of Google wonderfulness, check out the Verge story.
Plus, after 14 months, the Google has rolled out image generation that is the apex of artistic excellence. How great is that? VentureBeat explains the achievement. Tom’s Hardware take a more techy approach to the announcement.
MONEY
One cannot overlook Google’s towering financial skyscrapers.
First, its annual revenue continues to climb. Details appear in Alphabet’s report.
Second, YouTube has become the little money factory Googlers lusted after. Even Variety lets its respect for cash flow sparkle in the insider’s news service. I want to point out that AndroidPolice asserted that YouTube has fewer paid subscribers than does Spotify. Is the solution an acquisition, predatory pricing, or removing Spotify from search results. These are actions Google would avoid, of course.
Third, Google is pinching pennies, not just firing employees to boost margins. Nope. According to Marketwatch, Google showed a $1.2 billion loss due to dumping office space. Is this important? Not to the former employees, but the landlords and banks counting on Google lease deals might be irritated.
A GEM TO REMEMBER
I mentioned Google’s management excellence elsewhere in this catalog of gems. I want to close with a nod to Yahoo News (who knew the Yahooligans did news?). The story recycles information about Google’s terminating employees, thus creating Xooglers in abundance. “Google’s Layoffs Already Impacted Its Culture. Now They’re Affecting Its Bottom Line” reports that employees (Xooglers) belonged to a “happy family.” Really?
Stephen E Arnold, February 6, 2024
Google Gems: January 30, 2024
January 30, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
The dinobaby wants to share another collection of Google gems. These are high-value actions which provide insight into one of the world’s most successful online advertising companies. Let’s get rolling with the items which I thought were the biggest outputs of behavioral magma movements in the last week, give or take a day or two. For gems, whose keeping track?
The dinobaby is looking for Google gems. There are many. Thanks, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. Good enough, but I think I am more svelt than your depiction of me.
GOOGLE AND REAL INNOVATION
How do some smart people innovate. “Google Settles AI-Related Chip Patent Lawsuit That Sought US$1.67-Billion in Damages” states:
Singular, founded by Massachusetts-based computer scientist Joseph Bates, claimed that Google incorporated his technology into processing units that support AI features in Google Search, Gmail, Google Translate and other Google services. The 2019 lawsuit said that Bates shared his inventions with the company between 2010 and 2014. It argued that Google’s Tensor Processing Units copied Bates’ technology and infringed two patents.
Did Google accidentally borrow intellectual property? I don’t know. But when $1.67 is bandied about as a desired amount and the Google settles right before trial, one can ask, “Does Google do me-too invention?” Of course not. Google is too cutting edge. Plus the invention allegedly touches Google’s equally innovative artificial intelligence set up. But $1.67 billion? Interesting.
A TWO’FER
Two former Googlers have their heads in the clouds (real, not data center clouds). Well, one mostly former Googler and another who has returned to the lair to work on AI. Hey, those are letters which appear in the word lAIr. What a coincidence. Xoogler one is a founder of the estimable company. Xoogler two is a former “adult” at the innovative firm.
Sergey Brin’s, like Icarus, has taken flight. He didn’t. His big balloon has. The Travel reports in “The World’s Largest Airship Is Now A Reality As It Took Flight In California”:
Pathfinder 1, a prototype electric airship designed by LTA Research, is being unveiled to the public as dawn rises over Silicon Valley. The project’s backer, Google co-founder Sergey Brin, expects it will speed the airship’s humanitarian efforts and usher in a new age of eco-friendly air travel. The airship has magnified drone technology, incorporating fly-by-wire controls, electric motors, and lidar sensing, to a scale surpassing that of three Boeing 737s. This enlarged version has the potential to transport substantial cargo across extensive distances. Its distinctive snow-white steampunk appearance is easily discernible from the bustling 101 highway.
The article includes a reference to the newsreel meme The Hindenburg. Helpful? Not so much. Anyway the Brin-aloon is up.
The second item about a Xoogler also involves flight. Business Insider (an outfit in the news itself this week) published “Ex-Google CEO Eric Schmidt Quietly Created a Company Called White Stork, Which Plans to Build AI-Powered Attack Drones, Report Says.” Drones are a booming business. The write up states:
The former Google chief told Wired that occasionally, a new weapon comes to market that “changes things” and that AI could help revolutionize the Department of Defense’s equipment. He said in the Wired interview, “Einstein wrote a letter to Roosevelt in the 1930s saying that there is this new technology — nuclear weapons — that could change war, which it clearly did. I would argue that [AI-powered] autonomy and decentralized, distributed systems are that powerful.”
What if a smart White Stork goes after Pathfinder? Impossible. AI is involved.
WAY FINDING WITH THRILLS
The next major Google gem is about the map product I find almost impossible to use. But I am a dinobaby, and these nifty new products are not tuned to 80-year-old eyes and fingers. I can still type, however. “The Google Maps Effect: Authorities Looking for Ways to Prevent Cars From Going Down Steps” shares this allegedly actual factual functionality:
… beginning in December, several drivers attempted to go down the steps either in small passenger cars or lorries that wouldn’t even fit in the small space between the buildings. Drivers blamed Google Maps on every occasion, claiming they followed the turn-by-turn guidance offered by the application. Google Maps told them to make a turn and attempt to go down the steps, so they eventually got stuck for obvious reasons.
I did a job for the bright fellow who brought WordStar to market. Google Maps wanted me to drive off the highway and into the bay. I turned off the helpful navigation system. I may be old, but dinobabies are not completely stupid. Other drivers relying on good enough Google presumably are.
AI MARKETING HOO-HAH
The Google is tooting its trumpet. Here are some recent “innovations” designed to keep the pesky OpenAI, Mistal, and Zuckbookers at bay:
- Google can make videos using AI. “Google’s New AI Video Generator Looks Incredible” reports that the service is “incredible.” What else from the quantum supremacy crowd? Sure, and it produces cute animals.
- Those Chromebooks are not enough. Google is applying its AI to education. Read more about how an ad company will improve learning in “Google Announces New AI-Powered Features for Education.”
- More Googley AI is coming to ads. If you are into mental manipulation, you will revel in “YouTube Ads Are About to Get Way More Effective with AI-Powered Neuromarketing.” Hey, “way more” sounds like the super smart Waymo Google car thing, doesn’t it?
LITTLE CUBIC ZIRCONIAS
Let me highlight what I call little cubic zirconias of Google goodness. Here we go:
- The New York Post published “Google News Searches Ranked AI-Generated Rip-offs Above Real Articles — Including a Post Exclusive.” The main point is that Google’s estimable system and wizards cannot tell diamonds from the chemical twins produced by non-Googlers. With elections coming, let’s talk about trust in search results, shall we?
- Google’s wizards have created a new color for the Pixel phone. Read about the innovative green at this link.
- TechRadar reported that Google has a Kubernetes “flaw.” Who can exploit it? Allegedly anyone with a Google Gmail account. Details at this Web location.
Before I close this week’s edition of Gems, I want to mention two relatively minor items. Some people may think these molehills are much larger issues. What can I do?
Google has found that firing people is difficult. According to Business Insider, Googlers fired in South Korea won’t leave the company. Okay. Whatever.
Also, New York Magazine, a veritable treasure trove of technical information, reports that Google has ended the human Internet with the upgrade Chrome browser. News flash: The human Internet was killed by search engine optimization years ago.
Watch for more Google Gems next week. I think there will be sparkly items available.
Stephen E Arnold, January 30, 2024
Ho-Hum Write Up with Some Golden Nuggets
January 30, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
I read “Anthropic Confirms It Suffered a Data Leak.” I know. I know. Another security breach involving an outfit working with the Bezos bulldozer and Googzilla. Snore. But in the write up, tucked away were a couple of statements I found interesting.
“Hey, pardner, I found an inconsistency.” Two tries for a prospector and a horse. Good enough, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. I won’t ask about your secure email.
Here these items are:
- Microsoft, Amazon and others are being asked by a US government agency “to provide agreements and rationale for collaborations and their implications; analysis of competitive impact; and information on any other government entities requesting information or performing investigations.” Regulatory scrutiny of the techno feudal champions?
- The write up asserts: “Anthropic has made a “long-term commitment” to provide AWS customers with “future generations” of its models through Amazon Bedrock, and will allow them early access to unique features for model customization and fine-tuning purposes.” Love at first sight?
- And a fascinating quote from a Googler. Note: I have put in bold some key words which I found interesting:
“Anthropic and Google Cloud share the same values when it comes to developing AI–it needs to be done in both a bold and responsible way,” Google Cloud CEO Thomas Kurian said in a statement on their relationship. “This expanded partnership with Anthropic, built on years of working together, will bring AI to more people safely and securely, and provides another example of how the most innovative and fastest growing AI startups are building on Google Cloud.”
Yeah, but the article is called “Anthropic Confirms It Suffered a Data Leak.” What’s with the securely?
Ah, regulatory scrutiny and obvious inconsistency. Ho-hum with a good enough tossed in for spice.
Stephen E Arnold, January 30, 2024
More Google Gems: The January 2024, Week 3
January 23, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
Quite a big week in the Google gem store. I suppose I have to identify a couple which I found authentic knee slappers. This is tough because the GOOG was performing at a peak level of excellence.
I enjoyed selecting this week’s Google Gems. Sparkly and not cubic zirconia. Thanks, MSFT Copilot second string thing. Good enough.
In the midst of the news coverage of Google’s smart software new skill, there was a bit of a “we are heading out, pardner” excitement. Okay, what can Google’s AI do? Sit down. I don’t want to be responsible for an injury. The Googley AI can solve geometry problems. I know, I know. Geometry. Well, the Google smart software can solve difficult geometry problems. Read about the achievement at this link to the Technology Review story. (Has anyone checked out Stephen Wolfram’s software lately? No, okay, never mind.)
My number one story (which may not be spot on but it is a zinger) is “California Google Engineer Found Spattered With Blood, ‘Staring Blankly’ Next to Wife’s Severely Beaten Body, Prosecutors Say.” The Messenger write up reports:
… officers with the Santa Clara Police Department made entry into the home and found Chen “spattered with blood” and “with his wife’s body nearby,” prosecutors said. She [spokesperson] said “blunt force injuries to her head” and swelling in her right hand. And Chen’s arm was scratched up, and he had blood on his clothing.
I am definitely going to mind my Ps and Qs when around Googlers
My number two favorite is the revelation that Google’s incognito mode is not. Who knew? I think this type of word play is the core strength of the mobile phone companies which have made clear that “unlimited” does not mean “without limits.” But Google is in the game of slippery lingo.
My number three favorite is that Leo Laporte and Steve Gibson, hosts of Security Now, love Google’s putting ad auction technology in the Chrome browser. Well, sort of. The This Week in Google program offered a different point of view; namely, not so fast. You can find links to both of these programs (once supported by advertising and now supported by begging for dollars) at this link. (No, I don’t subscribe. I do what is called play at 1.5 speed and fast forward through the sponsored messages.) But the key point here is that one’s Chrome browser is going to need a beefy infrastructure to do the heavy lifting for Google’s money machine in my opinion.
Okay, here are the other gems:
- Some of Google’s smart software team seem to be heading for greener pastures. More personnel management excitement for the GOOG’s crack HR professionals. Another former Google AI wizard opined that AI could run one’s business in five years. Hmm. Maybe AI will run Google? And a Googler opined that AI is a labor replacing “tool.” There you go.
- The brilliant Googler who directed Googzilla’s epic online game initiative has been RIFFed. Did someone say, “We got him.”
- Another Google professional is finding his future elsewhere and documenting the anguish of the journey. Read that document at this link.
- Another write up about how lousy Google Web search results are. (I am suggesting you give Google Dorks a whirl.)
- Google explains that it is not really, no, really, not slowing YouTube when ad blockers are used by a “user.” Believe it not after you read this story. Oh, there is some management musical chairs underway at YouTube as well.
- Google is a good boy. Search results in Europe conform to the EU’s Digital Markets Act (DMA). Good boy. Does Googzilla want a cookie?
More next week.
Stephen E Arnold, January 23, 2024
Google-gies: A New Literary Genre
January 19, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
I think graduate students in American literature have a new genre to analyze. The best way to define an innovation in literature is to take an example and do what soon-to-be-unemployed MA and PhD candidates do best: Examine an original text. I think one word used to describe this type of examination is deconstruction. Close enough for horseshoes.
These former high tech feudal barons lament parties designed to facilitate discussion of dissolution, devolution, and disintegration. Thanks, second tier MSFT Copilot Bing thing. Good enough again.
My name for this new branch of American writing is a combination of Google and elegy or Googlegy. I also considered Googletopsis in honor of William Cullen Bryant, but Googlegy is snappier in my opinion. The point is that the term applies to writing about the death of the Google myth.
Let’s turn to a recent example titled “Mourning Google.” The main idea is that the Google is dead or one facet of the estimable firm has passed into the Great Beyond. The writer is Tim Bray who was a Big Gun at OpenText and other firms before joining the Digital Camelot. He writes:
it really seems like the joy has well and truly departed the Googleplex.
Funereal? Yep. He continues:
And now, in Anno Domini 2024, Google has lost its edge in search. There are plenty of things it can’t find. There are compelling alternatives. To me this feels like a big inflection point, because around the stumbling feet of the Big Tech dinosaurs, the Web’s mammals, agile and flexible, still scurry. They exhibit creative energy and strongly-flavored voices, and those voices still sometimes find and reinforce each other without being sock puppets of shareholder-value-focused private empires.
I like the metaphors and the lingo. (Subsequent sections of the essay use vulgar language. Some of the author’s words appear on Google list of forbidden words, so I won’t repeat them. This is a blog, not English 602, Googlegy: Meaning and Social Impact.
The wrap up of the essay reveals some of the attitude of a Xoogler or former Googler presents this wonderful blend of nostalgia, greed, and personal emotion:
It was ethereal — OK, pretentious — almost beyond belief. Almost entirely vegetarian, rare plants hand-gathered by Zen monks and assembled into jewel-like little platelets-full that probably strengthened eleven different biochemical subsystems just by existing. And the desserts were beyond divine. Admittedly, sometimes when I left, my Norwegian-farmer metabolism grumbled a bit about not having had any proper food, but still. It was wonderful. It was absurd. And I got a $90K bonus that year because Google+ hit its numbers. It’s over, I think. It’s OK to miss it.
Why are Googlegies appearing? I have a theory, and if I were teaching graduate students, I would direct those eager minds toward a research topic in this untrodden intellectual space.
Let me share several observations:
- Using Swisscows.com or another reasonably useful Web search engine, one can locate other articles about the mythical death of the Google
- Medium and Substack harbor essays in this genre
- Conferences featuring speakers who were Googlers provide an opportunity for first-hand data collection
- Apply for a job and learn up close and personal how money assuages one’s conscience, emotions, and ethical whimpers.
I have a different viewpoint. The Google is busy redesigning the Web to maintain its grip on revenue from advertisers. Googley technology will, its senior managers hope, will blunt the rapacious outfits which are equally inspired by the spirit of Andrew Carnegie, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and John D. Rockefeller.
Welcome the birth of a new genre — Google-gies. Refreshing if too late.
Stephen E Arnold, January 19, 2024
Google Gems for 1 16 24: Ho Ho Ho
January 16, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
There is no zirconium dioxide in this gem display. The Google is becoming more aggressive about YouTube users who refuse to pay money to watch the videos on the site. Does Google have a problem after conditioning its users around the globe to use the service, provide comments, roll over for data collection, and enjoy the ever increasing number of commercial messages? Of course not, Google is a much-loved company, and its users are eager to comply. If you want some insight into Google’s “pay up or suffer” approach to reframing YouTube, navigate to “YouTube’s Ad Blocker War Leads to Major Slowdowns and Surge in Scam Ads.” Yikes, scam ads. (I thought Google had those under control a decade ago. Oh, well.)
So many high-value gems and so little time to marvel at their elegance and beauty. Thanks, MSFT Copilot Big thing. Good enough although I appear to be a much younger version of my dinobaby self.
Another notable allegedly accurate assertion about the Google’s business methods appears in “Google Accused of Stealing Patented AI Technology in $1.67 Billion Case.” Patent litigation is boring for some, but the good news is that it provides big money to some attorneys — win or lose. What’s interesting is that short cuts and duplicity appear in numerous Google gems. Is this a signal or a coincidence?
Other gems my team found interesting and want to share with you include:
- Google and the lovable Bing have been called out for displaying “deep fake porn” in their search results. If you want to know more about this issue, navigate to Neowin.net.
- In order to shore up its revenues, Alphabet is innovating the way Monaco has: Money-related gaming. How many young people will discover the thrill of winning big and take a step toward what could be a life long involvement in counseling and weekly meetings? Techcrunch provides a bit more information, but not too much.
- Are there any downsides to firing Googlers, allegedly the world’s brightest and most productive wizards wearing sneakers and gray T shirts? Not too many, but some people may be annoyed with what Google describes in baloney speak as deprecation. The idea is that features are killed off. Adapt. PCMag.com explains with post-Ziff élan. One example of changes might be the fiddling with Google Maps and Waze.
- The estimable Sun newspaper provides some functions of the Android mobiles’ hidden tricks. Surprise.
- Google allegedly is struggling to dot its “i’s” and cross its “t’s.” A blogger reports that Google “forgot” to renew a domain used in its GSuite documentation. (How can one overlook the numerous reminders to renew? It’s easy I assume.)
The final gem in this edition is one that may or may not be true. A tweet reports that Amazon is now spending more on R&D than Google. Cost cutting?
Stephen E Arnold, January 16, 2024
A Google Gem: Special Edition on 1-11-23
January 11, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
I learned that the Google has swished its tail and killed off some baby Googlers. Giant creatures can do that. Thomson Reuters (the trust outfit) reported the “real” news in “Google Lays Off Hundreds in Assistant, Hardware, Engineering Teams.” But why? The Google is pulsing with revenue, opportunity, technology, and management expertise. Thomson Reuters has the answer:
"Throughout second-half of 2023, a number of our teams made changes to become more efficient and work better, and to align their resources to their biggest product priorities. Some teams are continuing to make these kinds of organizational changes, which include some role eliminations globally," a spokesperson for Google told Reuters in a statement.
On YCombinator’s HackerNews, I spotted some interesting comments. Foofie asserted: “In the last quarter Alphabet reported "total revenues of $76.69bn, an increase of 11 percent year-on-year (YoY). Google Cloud alone grew 22%.”
A giant corporate creature plods forward. Is the big beastie mindful of those who are crushed in the process? Sure, sure. Thanks, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. Good enough.
BigPeopleAreOld observes: “As long as you can get another job and can get severance pay, a layoff feel like an achievement than a loss. That happened me in my last company, one that I was very attached to for what I now think was irrational reasons. I wanted to leave anyway, but having it just happen and getting a nice severance pay was a perk. I am treating my new job as the complete opposite and the feeling is cathartic, which allows me to focus better on my work instead of worrying about the maintaining the illusion of identity in the company I work for.”
Yahoo, that beacon of stability, tackled the human hedge trimming in “Google Lays Off Hundreds in Hardware, Voice Assistant Teams.” The Yahooligans report:
The reductions come as Google’s core search business feels the heat from rival artificial-intelligence offerings from Microsoft Corp. and ChatGPT-creator OpenAI. On calls with investors, Google executives pledged to scrutinize their operations to identify places where they can make cuts, and free up resources to invest in their biggest priorities.
I like the word “pledge.” I wonder what it means in the land of Googzilla.
And how did the Google RIF these non-essential wizards and wizardettes? According to 9to5Google.com:
This reorganization will see Google lay off a few hundred roles across Devices & Services, though the majority is happening within the first-party augmented reality hardware team. This downsizing suggests Google is no longer working on its own AR hardware and is fully committed to the OEM-partnership model. Employees will have the ability to apply to open roles within the company, and Google is offering its usual degree of support.
Several observations:
- Dumping employees reduces costs, improves efficiency, and delivers other MBA-identified goodies. Efficiency is logical.
- The competitive environment is more difficult than some perceive. Microsoft, OpenAI, and the many other smart software outfits are offering alternatives to Google search even when these firms are not trying to create problems for Google. Search sucks and millions are looking for an alternative. I sense fear among the Googlers.
- The regulatory net is becoming more and more difficult to avoid. The EU and other governmental entities see Google as a source of money. The formula seems to be to litigate, find guilty, and find. What’s not to like for cash strapped government entities?
- For more than a year, the Google has been struggling with its slip on sneakers. As a result, the Google conveys that it is not able to make a dash to the ad convenience store as it did when it was younger, friskier. Google looks old, and predators know that the old can become a snack.
See Google cares.
Stephen E Arnold, January 11, 2024
A Decision from the High School Science Club School of Management Excellence
January 11, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
I can’t resist writing about Inc. Magazine and its Google management articles. These are knee slappers for me. The write up causing me to chuckle is “Google’s CEO, Sundar Pichai, Says Laying Off 12,000 Workers Was the Worst Moment in the Company’s 25-Year History.” Zowie. A personnel decision coupled with late-night, anonymous termination notices — What’s not to like. What’s the “real” news write up have to say:
Google had to lay off 12,000 employees. That’s a lot of people who had been showing up to work, only to one day find out that they’re no longer getting a paycheck because the CEO made a bad bet, and they’re stuck paying for it.
“Well, that clever move worked when I was in my high school’s science club. Oh, well, I will create a word salad to distract from my decision making.Heh, heh, heh,” says the distinguished corporate leader to a “real” news publication’s writer. Thanks, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. Good enough.
I love the “had.”
The Inc. Magazine story continues:
Still, Pichai defends the layoffs as the right decision at the time, saying that the alternative would have been to put the company in a far worse position. “It became clear if we didn’t act, it would have been a worse decision down the line,” Pichai told employees. “It would have been a major overhang on the company. I think it would have made it very difficult in a year like this with such a big shift in the world to create the capacity to invest in areas.”
And Inc Magazine actually criticizes the Google! I noted:
To be clear, what Pichai is saying is that Google decided to spend money to hire employees that it later realized it needed to invest elsewhere. That’s a failure of management to plan and deliver on the right strategy. It’s an admission that the company’s top executives made a mistake, without actually acknowledging or apologizing for it.
From my point of view, let’s focus on the word “worst.” Are there other Google management decisions which might be considered in evaluating the Inc. Magazine and Sundar Pichai’s “worst.” Yep, I have a couple of items:
- A lawyer making babies in the Google legal department
- A Google VP dying with a contract worker on the Googler’s yacht as a result of an alleged substance subject to DEA scrutiny
- A Googler fond of being a glasshole giving up a wife and causing a soul mate to attempt suicide
- Firing Dr. Timnit Gebru and kicking off the stochastic parrot thing
- The presentation after Microsoft announced its ChatGPT initiative and the knee jerk Red Alert
- Proliferating duplicative products
- Sunsetting services with little or no notice
- The Google Map / Waze thing
- The messy Google Brain Deep Mind shebang
- The Googler who thought the Google AI was alive.
Wow, I am tired mentally.
But the reality is that I am not sure if anyone in Google management is particularly connected to the problems, issues, and challenges of losing a job in the midst of a Foosball game. But that’s the Google. High school science club management delivers outstanding decisions. I was in my high school science club, and I know the fine decision making our members made. One of those cost the life of one of our brightest stars. Stars make bad decisions, chatter, and leave some behind.
Stephen E Arnold, January 11, 2024
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