Google and Metapersonnel Insights
April 6, 2015
Forget Xooglers. The ranks of the former Googlers continue to swell. Focus on the new Googlers. These are the folks eager to join the online advertising, Loon balloon, and Glass is not dead parade. In this article I am going to reference two allegedly factual incidents involving Googlers in the last year or so. You may want to read:
I read “How to Get Ahead at Work: 10 Tips from Google’s Head of HR.” The write up lays out a checklist to help me advance in my career. Spoiler alert: There was not a word about legal hassles, senior management liaisons, or projects that get killed, shelved, or forgotten.
The write up is a happy thing, and it contains some advice I suppose I would follow if I were a precocious 21 year old again. Ah, those were the days. I was impressionable, and I thought that pronouncements from well paid professionals wearing blue jeans were the pinnacle of sartorial savvy.
Let’s look at these “tips.”
The first tip is that I as the callow 21 year old have to give my work meaning. Now I suppose that works like a champ when one is employed at Google. But my first job as a 21 year old was dealing with the Byzantine bureaucracy of the US nuclear establishment. I am into meaning, but what “meaning” is there when smashing atoms and avoiding contamination are daily fare? Oh, a quick question: What is “meaning”? I am baffled still, even at age 70.
The second tip is to trust people. I find this interesting. I recall that a certain senior manager at Google left his wife to interact with a more youthful Googler. Then there was the Googler who died of a controlled substance event in the presence of a person who allegedly rented herself to those with free cash. I wonder how that “trust” thing is working with the wives affected by the alleged behaviors of Googlers?
The third tip is to hire people who are better than I. Okay. I am not sure if I do that. I have a yard crew, assorted failed middle school teachers, a couple of addled 60 year olds, and the odd 20 something wizard. I am just not very good, so I am not sure how to judge if someone on the yard crew is better than I when it comes to analyzing Google’s human resource tips. Does “good” mean smarter, stronger, healthier, better sighted, or more comely? I am not sure what the angle is. In terms of work, there is a task, and I assumed one should hire an individual who can perform that task. The “better” fools me. For example, if I do not cavort with a 20 something while wearing a Google product, does that make me less “better”? I am puzzled.
The fourth tip is also confusing to me: “Don’t confuse development with managing performance?” I assume this is on the job performance, not the extra curricular stuff like the drugs on the yacht or the marketer seeking medical attention. The write up explains:
Even the most successful people fail to learn. And if they can’t learn, what hope is there for the rest of us? It’s not pleasant to confront your own weaknesses. If you marry criticism with consequence, if people feel that a miss means that they will be hurt professionally or economically, they will argue instead of being open to learning and growing. Make developmental conversations safe and productive by having them all the time. Always start with an attitude of “How can I help you be more successful?”
The assumption is that the person “guiding” me is someone who has a character and interpersonal integrity to which I can relate. When that is absent, I am sorry. I do not learn. I am an old fashioned sort tangled in notions of ethical behavior. Again, the tip is falling on my imagined 21 year old deaf ears.
The fifth tip is pretty amazing. The idea is to pay attention to the best employees and the worst employees. That works out in a normal curve to a small percentage of the total employee count. So if a manager has two employees, the tip wants me to pay attention to the two people. Okay, that makes sense. But if I have 150 employees reporting to me as I did when I was at Halliburton Nuclear, that means I ignore that majority of my employees. Hmm. I suppose that is practical, but what if one of the ignored employees has a good idea or decides to photocopy confidential documents and high tail it to another company. As a manager of people, what do I say: “Well, that person was on I ignored”? Sorry. Doesn’t make sense to my job seeking imaginary 21 year old self.
The sixth tip is one of those odd ball catch phrases that don’t make any sense to me: “Be frugal and generous.” Okay, so I don’t want to throw away a sheet of paper with writing on one side. I can use the other side for notes, assuming paper is still in use in the Google HR office. But the notion of penny pinching and being generous is the stuff of Dickens, not my life. The point is to know how to think about a financial issue and make a decision that makes sense. I suppose the largesse of the US Congress buying the Department of Defense tanks the DoD does not want is part of the frugal-generous truism. Perhaps it is the money Google spends on lobbyists in Washington? I am baffled in the way I am when someone tells me, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”
The seventh tip is fascinating: “Pay unfairly.” Let’s see. I have a small company. I have to keep the lights on, pay taxes, and pay people. The money has to be allocated in a manner which the employees perceive as fair; otherwise, the employee is likely to complain or quit. No good. So the Google HR outfit wants to further the wage gap. In my warped sense of appropriate behavior, I find the idea somewhat disconcerting. I am okay with paying an individual for contributions to the firm. I am not okay with overt discriminatory compensation. But, hey, I am not likely to be the type of candidate who wants his virtual 21 year old self involved with womanizers or drug takers and search results that are neither objective nor particularly relevant to anyone but an advertiser. Bummer.
The eighth tip is nudge. Okay, okay, finally something I understand. One can nudge a pixel in Photoshop and one can nudge a co worker to behave in a manner appropriate to the company, the customer, and the context. But the Google HR view of a nudge is interesting:
Look around you right now and discover how your environment is nudging you and those around you already. Is it easy to see other people and connect? Are the least healthy snacks in your refrigerator at eye level? When you email or text your colleagues and friends, is it to share good news or snark? We are all constantly nudged by our environment and nudging those around us. Use that fact to make yourself and your teams happier and more productive.
If we go back to the womanizing executive and the alleged drug taker with compensated companion examples, I can see how nudges work. I am unfortunately non on board with nudges that become ego satisfying and lead to what I perceive as deleterious behavior. No future for me at the GOOG I suppose.
The ninth tip is an MBAism: “Manage rising expectations.” Now if I pay attention to the losers and the winners, members of each group will perceive themselves as special. The losers will assume I care and won’t fire them. The winners will assume that I will promote them or give them my job. No so fast. I try to avoid what I call the “cliff phenomenon.” The idea is that expectations get built up, like “Starved Rock in Illinois. Then one can either leave the people to die of starvation figuratively or literally or push them off the cliff. I don’t see much support for the notion of keeping folks from getting into a dangerous spot. I am, therefore, ill equipped to manipulate employees in the manner of turning a dial on an old Hewlett Packard wave measurement device.
The last tip is just plain brilliant or incredibly stupid. I am supposed to go back to square one and begin again. I much prefer non circular activities, but, hey, why listen to me. I am not as a virtual 21 year old going to cut it with Google personnel.
Thank heavens for small favors. Did I once cash checks from Google? Nah, must have been an imaginary quirk of time. I would search for more information but I have Google information access syndrome right now.
Stephen E Arnold, April 5, 2015
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