Verizon: Interest in Yahoo?
December 9, 2015
I read “Verizon Willing to Kick Yahoo’s tires, Consider a Buy.” Verizon already has AOL and a Xoogler. Will Verizon, one of the Baby Bell progeny, buy the Yahooligans and one more Xoogler?
The article stated:
Verizon might consider purchasing struggling Web portal Yahoo, a top Verizon executive said during a media conference in New York on Monday.
Here’s the passage I highlighted in Yahoo purple:
“We look at everything across this spectrum,” Shammo [a Verizon top dog] said at the UBS Global Media and Communications Conference, according to Bloomberg. “If we see there is a strategic fit, and it makes sense for our shareholders and we can return value, I mean we’ll look at it. But at this point, it’s way too premature to talk about that one.”
Ah, ha. A clue about Verizon’s online strategy!
After reading this gem of a semi-fluid statement, the goslings and I made a list of the top 10 things Verizon can do with Yahoo:
- Use the Yahoo yodel in Verizon audio and video ads
- Introduce a matched set of Xooglers at the next shareholder meeting
- Resurrect Geocities and sell Web pages as part of a small business bundle
- Create and executive office for Internet business strategy headed by Xooglers Armstrong and Mayer
- Add Yahoo purple to the Verizon red signage compete with T Mobiles pink
- Create a single list of Yahoo products and services after buying Yahoo to find out what Yahoo actually owns
- Recreate the Yahoo directory as a next generation Yellow Pages
- Use the Yahoo search system to locate a replacement for the Yahoo search system
- Alphabetize the list of services listed on the Yahoo splash page
- Add “You’ve got mail” to Yahoo mail, when it works, that is.
Veri-hoooo.
Stephen E Arnold, December 9, 2015
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