Google: Do What We Say, Ignore What We Do, Just Heel!

June 8, 2021

If this Reddit diagram is on the money, we have a great example of how Google management goes about rule making. The post is called “Google Can’t Pass Its Own Page Speed Test.” The post was online on June 5, 2021, but when Beyond Search posts this short item, that Reddit post may be tough to find. Why? Oh, because.


  • There are three grades Dearest Google automatically assigns to those who put content online. There are people who get green badges (just like in middle school). There are people who warrant yellow badges (no, I won’t mention a certain shop selling cloth patches in the shape of pentagons with pointy things), and red badges (red, like the scarlet letter, and you know what that meant in Puritan New England a relatively short time ago).

Notice that these Google sites get the red badge of high school science club mismanagement recognition:

  • Google Translate
  • Google’s site for its loyal and worshipful developers
  • Google’s online store where you can buy tchotchkes
  • The Google Cloud which has dreams of crushing the competitors like Amazon and Microsoft into non-coherent photons
  • Google Maps which I personally find almost impossible to use due to the effort to convert a map into so much more than a representation of a territory. Perhaps a Google Map is not the territory? Could it be a vessel for advertising?

There are three Google services which get the yellow badge. I find the yellow badge thing very troubling. Here these are:

  • YouTube, an outstanding collection of content recommended by a super duper piece of software and a giant hamper for online advertising of Grammarly, chicken sandwiches, insurance, and so much more for the consumers of the world
  • Google Trends. This is a service which reveals teeny tiny slice of the continent of data it seems the Alphabet Google thing possesses
  • The Google blog. That is a font of wisdom.


  1. Like Google’s other mandates, it appears that those inside the company responsible for Google’s public face either don’t know the guidelines or simply don’t care.
  2. Like AMP, this is an idea designed to help out Google. Making everyone go faster reduces costs for the Google. Who wants to help Google reduce costs? I sure do.
  3. Google’s high school science club management methods continue to demonstrate their excellence.

What happens if a non Google Web site doesn’t go fast? You thought you got traffic from Google like the good old days, perhaps rethink that assumption?

Stephen E Arnold, June 8, 2021


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