Disney Alleges Some Cast Are Not Decorous
September 11, 2023
Note: This essay is the work of a real and still-alive dinobaby. No smart software involved, just a dumb humanoid.
I spotted a story which may not be 100 percent on the money. If I were not 78, I would scour online resources to determine the veracity of “Furious Disney Bosses Call in Investigators after Disgruntled Employee Shares Shocking Clips of Beloved Characters.” For the purposes of this brief essay, let’s assume that the estimable Sun is writing the Truth According to Walt, who is allegedly frozen in a cryogenic chamber with machine generated images of Minnie Mouse doing interesting things at Disneyland.
A mutant character finds its way to a football game in Orlando. The egg shaped mascot shouts, “Everybody now. Twerk twerk twerk.” The Orlando Pride faithful takes off their Orlando Solar Bear’s hats and puts on official Mickey Mouse ears. Twerk twerk twerk. Walt and Roy Disney look alikes joined the fund. Thanks, MidJourney. No red alerts on my prompt. Too bad reversing the gradient descent is going to be difficult. Twerk twerk twerk.
The write up reports as “real news”:
Disney chiefs are furious over leaked videos showing theme park characters twerking. Dancing staff are also seen provocatively removing their costumes in behind-the-scenes footage.
The well paid and really content “cast” members dancing in a suggestive manner and/or removing their clothes? Come on, Sunny. Disneyland is super clean. The trash is removed and carried away via underground service tunnels. I have heard that interesting activities have taken place in those service tunnels. But my source with a retired Orlando law enforcement officer who was not a fan of the Disney outfit. I assumed he had to watch Snow White too many times while raising his two children. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to jail we go or some similar refrain is lodged in my brain, and I saw Snow White only one time. That was sufficient, right, Dopey?
The write up adds:
They [the management team presiding over the smoking crater of Disney earnings] have called in a team of investigators in a bid to root out those involved in filming the footage and those posting it. A source said: “It looks silly, but for Disney protecting the integrity of those characters is absolutely paramount. “They’ve asked top investigators to shut down the feed and try to identify those responsible, who are in breach of their employment contracts. “The last thing Disney wants is decapitated Mickey and Minnie heads going viral online and, even worse, anything that looks at all risqué or adult.
I am not sure about the “last thing” assertion. I learned while preparing for an upcoming lecture about smart software generating interesting Disney clips for those who like their anime spicy. Smart software is merely a technological enabler. It takes a human to merge a Disney character with the mentality of a ComicCon Furry meet up.
And what about Disney’s streaming tactics? Charter Spectrum and some sports fans who leave ESPN on 24×7 are not happy with the Magic Kingdom.
Okay, cast, more training will be required. For those curious about the beloved characters antics, check out TikTok.
Stephen E Arnold, September 11, 2023
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