The Church of Google
October 16, 2013
Have you found Google? If you are not offended by religious parody, you might enjoy a little site called the Church of Google. The home page declares:
“We at the Church of Google believe the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). We believe there is much more evidence in favour of Google’s divinity than there is for the divinity of other more traditional gods. We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of ‘God’, as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.”
As you can see, the site is really making a tongue-in-cheek case for atheism (or agnosticism, at least.) They use similar logic to that of Bobby Henderson, who came up with that whole “Flying Spaghetti Monster” thing in 2005 in an attempt to get through to the dogmatic among us. Googlism, though, has one advantage Pastafarianism lacks: evidence! The site lists nine “proofs” that Google is God. For example, the search engine comes very close to omniscience (it might not know quite everything, but it is close.) They also call the faux-deity omnipresent, being almost everywhere (on Earth) at once. Even the company’s “don’t be evil” slogan comes into play.
If you’re curious, check out the site for more of these “proofs.” You might also want to see the Prayers and Commandments pages for more parody. For a bit more straightforward take on the site’s point of view, the FAQ page is the place to go. There is also a forum in which one could lose an afternoon or two.
For our part, we believe in Google. Step aside Saint Augustine, Google has been made manifest.
Cynthia Murrell, October 16, 2013
Sponsored by ArnoldIT.com, developer of Augmentext
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Funny. We Pastafarians don’t mind other religions. In fact, our motto (unofficial) is the more the merrier, as long as we each get to be taught to school children, alongside creationism. So, Church of Google, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster … I believe in one, but I don’t begrudge you if you believe in the other.