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Forbes Calls Microsoft’s Ballmer Insane

February 15, 2009

Wow, not even the addled goose risks headlines like this one in MetaData: “Steve Ballmer Is Insane” here. There’s no allegedly, slightly, or possibly. Just insane. The writer is Wendy Tanaka, and I am shaking my feathers nervously to ponder what she would call this addled goose. Fricasseed? Silly? Cooked? Addled. No, that won’t work I call myself addled.

What’s insane mean? According to Dictionary.com, a property of Ask.com, a source I really trust, insane denotes three meanings:

  1. not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.
  2. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is mentally deranged: insane actions; an insane asylum.
  3. utterly senseless: an insane plan.

Ms. Tanaka, whom I opine may be younger than the 65 years for this addled goose, may be younger in mind and spirit than I. She focuses on the lousy economy and Microsoft’s decision to open retail stores. To spearhead the retail effort, Microsoft has snatched a Wal*Mart superstar. In Harrod’s Creek, Wal*Mart is not a store. Wal*Mart is the equivalent of a vacation.

My hunch is that Ms. Tanaka and her sources are skeptical of Microsoft’s push into retailing. She cites an MBA trophy generation type wizard from Technology business Research, an outfit with a core competency in retailing I presume. Mr. Krans, allegedly said:

Apple’s retail store rollout coincided with the introduction of the iPod in 2001, which gave a very compelling reason for consumers to visit its locations. …Microsoft brings no such compelling product to bear in its retail entrance, which makes getting consumers in the door a large obstacle to overcome.

This addled goose thinks there are significant benefits to Microsoft retail stores located in Harrod’s Creek. Read on.

A Baker’s Dozen of Benefits from MSFT Retail Shops

Here are some reasons that this addled goose thinks that the Microsoft retail push is such an interesting idea:

  1. Retail stores will permit Microsoft to showcase the Zune and related products. I saw a Zune case with happy faces in the local Coconut record shop last September
  2. Individuals interested in the XBox 360 can buy these at the Microsoft store, eliminating a need to go to BestBuy, GameStop, or the other established retail outlets for this product.
  3. Procurement teams could take a field trip–much like the Harrod Creek residents’ vacation at Wal*Mart to buy the SharePoint Fast ESP product offerings. I think there will be two, maybe three versions, of SharePoint with Fast technology on offer soon
  4. The local customer support outfit Administrative Services could drop in to the Microsoft retail shop near Fern Valley Road and grab one or more versions of Dynamics along with Windows Server, SQL Server, and any other server needed to make Dynamics sing a happy song
  5. Display the wide range of mobile devices running Windows Mobile. I don’t think I have seen every Windows Mobile device in one location. What a convenience to disenchanted Nokia, iPhone, and BlackBerry users.
  6. Offer the complete line up of Microsoft mice and keyboards. Shame about the nifty Microsoft networking products in the compelling pale orange and green boxes.
  7. Introduce a service bar with Windows geniuses to address questions from customers. I would drop in to get help when my MSDN generated authentication keys don’t work or when the Word 2007 formatting on a Windows system does not stick, yet the formatting works just fine on a Mac with Word 2007 installed.
  8. Provide a line up of Microsoft T shirts, caps, and other memorabilia, including the new “old” range of gear with MS DOS era logos
  9. Purchase CALs for various Microsoft products, eliminating the hassle of dealing with the Platinum, Gold, Silver, and other semi precious metal badged partners
  10. Purchase Microsoft Consulting support so I can get different Microsoft server products to talk to one another and expose their data and metadata to SharePoint
  11. Sign up for Microsoft Live.com cloud services and get help with the horizontal and sometimes confusing to me “blank” slate interfaces. See item 7 above.
  12. Meet Microsoft partners, eliminating the need to go to a trade show to learn about “snap in” products that extend, enrich, and sometimes replace Microsoft components that don’t work as advertised for some customer applications.
  13. Visit with Microsoft executives. I think of this as an extension of the company’s “open door policy.” Nothing will boost share price more than giving retail customers an opportunity to talk with senior Microsoft executives about Vista, usability testing, prices, variants of Windows 7, the difference between MSN.com and Live.com, and job opportunities.

Insane? Wrong. From Harrod’s Creek, the retail plan makes perfect sense. I wonder if the Microsoft retail shop will be in downtown Harrod’s Creek or out by the mine run off pond on Wolf Creek Road? Maybe we’ll get more than one store just like Taco Bell.

Stephen Arnold, February 15, 2009

Written by Stephen E. Arnold · Filed Under Business strategy, Microsoft, News 

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One Response to “Forbes Calls Microsoft’s Ballmer Insane”

  1. Attack of the iClones: Microsoft Retail Store Edition — iPhone Tricks, Tips and Hacks on February 16th, 2009 3:55 pm

    […] Forbes Calls Microsoft’s Ballmer Insane (arnoldit.com) […]

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