Enterprise Search Vendor Resolutions for 2010
December 22, 2009
The addled goose has compiled a list of the New Year’s resolutions–imaginary, of course–for vendors of enterprise search and content processing systems.
Image source: http://media.photobucket.com/image/hell%20freezes%20over/FlintConservative/hell_freezes_over.jpg
The speaker is an imaginary vendor of information retrieval systems. The hypothetical person is speaking in the first person at lunch with three people in attendance, a Rabbi, an Mullah, and a Catholic bishop. Each is listening intently. Each casts a wary eye on the sky above as the hypothetical search vendor speaks these words:
- I will not prevaricate about my company’s software.
- I will provide names of customers, happy and sad, when asked for references.
- I will provide customer support via a human who knows the software.
- When I am asked a question to which I don’t know the answer, I will say “I don’t know”.
- When I tell a customer “I will get back to you”, I will get back to that person.
- When I am asked about the firm’s financial health, I will provide accurate information.
- When asked if a new feature works, I will tell the truth.
- When replying to a request for a quotation, I will provide accurate, complete financial detail.
- When asked about system performance, I will explain that hardware and engineering will be needed to make the system keep up with growth in content and usage.
- When I am asked if the system is “just like Google’s”, I will provide an accurate point by point differentiation.
- When I am asked how the system differs from any other system, I will provide a table that identifies the specific points of difference, if any.
- I will not buy customers via price cutting.
- I will not denigrate open source software without offering verifiable supporting documentation.
Clouds gathered. Thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed. The lunch group dispersed, each going his separate way.
Credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit.
Stephen E. Arnold, December 21, 2009
I wish to report to the Arctic Research Commission that I was not paid to write this hypothetical-stuffed item. When vendors embrace these resolutions, Hell will freeze over.