Number One on Google: A Darned Amazing Sales Push

October 4, 2013

It is five pm eastern time. I am still trying to figure out who called me from 916 219 9230 and made a startling assertion even for an under employed Sacramento outfit.

Our system can deliver a number one position for your company on a Google results list.

My understanding is that Google uses a number of factors to determine what displays in response to a user’s query. Google personalizes results using a user’s search history. Google crunches hundreds of factors to determine relevancy. Google may, according to some disbelievers, consider advertisers and their advertisements.

Now I get a telemarketing call promising me,, a number one ranking. I needed only to press one on my telephone keypad.

Well, I pressed one and was connected to a telemarketer who refused to answer my questions about the relationship of the company making this pitch and Google. When I asked which Google office was working with the firm calling me, the young man said, “Do you even know where Google is located?”

I probed on the method and the telemarketer promptly disconnected me.

Several observations:

  1. SEO folks must be struggling to get work. Calling me in rural Kentucky is probably not going to result in a sale. I don’t care about traffic, and I don’t care about SEO.
  2. If Google is involved, which the caller hinted was true, has the automated advertising system failed to keep the ad revenue flowing. The premise of the ad system is that a human does not get involved unless the advertiser makes a goof with the product advertised or with the language used in the ad. The human system does not get exercised too strenuously if the reports about Google’s approach to certain types of products is indeed accurate. But telemarketing? That’s interesting.
  3. Perhaps the positive economic news flooding from CNBC and similar sources is not 100 percent accurate.Telemarketing reminds me of the Popeil Pocket Fisherman and fly-by-night window companies trying to get 70 year olds like me to buy a storm door after a no cost, no obligation assessment.

I wanted to document my first SEO telemarketing call. Maybe this is a trend? Maybe it is a new way to boost online advertising? Maybe it is an easy way for scam artists to hide behind a phone number like 916 219 9230.

I enjoyed the call. I like it when telemarketers get frustrated with me and hang up. Desperation from telemarketers sounds like failure.

Stephen E Arnold, October 4, 2013


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