Amazon: Is the Company Losing Control of Essentials?
April 11, 2022
Here’s a test question? Which is the computer product in the image below?
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[a] |
[b] |
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If you picked [a], you qualify for work at TopCharm, an Amazon service located in lovely Brooklyn at 3912 New Utrecht Avenue, zip 11219. Item [b] is the Ryzen cpu I ordered, paid for, and expected to arrive. TopCharm delivered: Panties, not the CPU. Is it easy to confuse a Ryzen 5900X with these really big, lacy, red “unmentionables”? One of my team asked me, “Do you want me to connect the red lace cpu to the ASUS motherboard?”
Ho ho ho.
What does Clustrmaps.com say about this location””?
This address has been used for business registration by Express Repair & Towing Inc. The property belongs to Lelah Inc. [Maybe these are Lelah’s underwear? And Express Repair & Towing? Yep, that sounds like a vendor of digital panties, red and see-through at that.]
One of my team suggested I wear the garment for my lecture in April 2021 at the National Cyber Crime Conference? My wife wanted to know if Don (one of my technical team) likes red panties? A neighbor’s college-attending son asked, “Who is the babe who wears that? Can I have her contact info?”
My sense of humor about this matter is officially exhausted.
Several observations about this Amazon transaction:
- Does the phrase “too big to manage” apply in this situation to Amazon’s ecommerce business?
- What type of stocking clerk confuses a high end CPU with cheap red underwear?
- What quality assurance methods are in place to protect a consumer from cheap jokes and embarrassment when this type of misstep occurs?
Has Amazon lost control of the basics of online commerce? If one confuses CPUs with panties, how is Amazon going to ensure that its Government Cloud services for the public sector stay online? Quite a misstep in my opinion. Is this cyber fraud, an example of management lapses, a screwed up inventory system, or a perverse sense of humor?
Stephen E Arnold, April 11, 2022
Amazon: A Secret of Success Revealed
January 15, 2024
This essay is the work of a dumb dinobaby. No smart software required.
I read “Jeff Bezos Reportedly Told His Team to Attack Small Publishers Like a Cheetah Would Pursue a Sickly Gazelle in Amazon’s Early Days — 3 Ruthless Strategies He’s Used to Build His Empire.” The inspirational story make clear why so many companies, managers, and financial managers find the Bezos Bulldozer a slick vehicle. Who needs a better role model for the Information Superhighway?
Although this machine-generated cheetah is chubby, the big predator looks quite content after consuming a herd of sickly gazelles. No wonder so many admire the beast. Can the chubby creature catch up to the robotic wizards at OpenAI-type firms? Thanks, MSFT Copilot Bing thing. It was a struggle to get this fat beast but good enough.
The write up is not so much news but a summing up of what I think of as Bezos brainwaves. For example, the write up describes either the creator of the Bezos Bulldozer as “sadistic” or a “godfather.” Another facet of Mr. Bezos’ approach to business is an aggressive price strategy. The third tool in the bulldozer’s toolbox is creating an “adversarial” environment. That sounds delightful: “Constant friction.”
But I think there are other techniques in play. For example, we ordered a $600 dollar CPU. Amazon or one of its “trusted partners” shipped red panties in an AMD Ryzen box. [a] The CPU and [b] its official box. Fashionable, right?
This image appeared in my April 2022 Beyond Search. Amazon customer support insisted that I received a CPU, not panties in an AMB box. The customer support process made it crystal clear that I was trying the cheat them. Yeah, nice accusation and a big laugh when I included the anecdote in one of my online fraud lectures at a cyber crime conference.
More recently, I received a smashed package with a plastic bag displaying this message: “We care.” When I posted a review of the shoddy packaging and the impossibility of contacting Amazon, I received several email messages asking me to go to the Amazon site and report the problem. Oh, the merchant in question is named Meta Bosem:
Amazon asks me to answer this question before getting a resolution to this predatory action. Amazon pleads, “Did this solve my problem?” No, I will survive being the victim of what seems to a way to down a sickly gazelle. (I am just old, not sickly.)
The somewhat poorly assembled article cited above includes one interesting statement which either a robot or an underpaid humanoid presented as a factoid about Amazon:
Malcolm Gladwell’s research has led him to believe that innovative entrepreneurs are often disagreeable. Businesses and society may have a lot to gain from individuals who “change up the status quo and introduce an element of friction,” he says. A disagreeable personality — which Gladwell defines as someone who follows through even in the face of social approval — has some merits, according to his theory.
Yep, the benefits of Amazon. Let me identify the ones I experienced with the panties and the smashed product in the “We care” wrapper:
- Quality control and quality assurance. Hmmm. Similar to aircraft manufacturer’s whose planes feature self removing doors at 14,000 feet
- Customer service. I love the question before the problem is addressed which asks, “Did this solve your problem?” (The answer is, “No.”)
- Reliable vendors. I wonder if the Meta Bosum folks would like my pair of large red female undergarments for one of their computers?
- Business integrity. What?
But what does one expect from a techno feudal outfit which presents products named by smart software. For details of this recent flub, navigate to “Amazon Product Name Is an OpenAI Error Message.” This article states:
We’re accustomed to the uncanny random brand names used by factories to sell directly to the consumer. But now the listings themselves are being generated by AI, a fact revealed by furniture maker FOPEAS, which now offers its delightfully modern yet affordable I’m sorry but I cannot fulfill this request it goes against OpenAI use policy. My purpose is to provide helpful and respectful information to users in brown.
Isn’t Amazon a delightful organization? Sickly gazelles, be cautious when you hear the rumble of the Bezos Bulldozer. It does not move fast and break things. The company has weaponized its pursuit of revenue. Neither, publishers, dinobabies, or humanoids can be anything other than prey if the cheetah assertion is accurate. And the government regulatory authorities in the US? Great job, folks.
Stephen E Arnold, January 15, 2024
Amazon AWS PR: A Signal from a Weakening Heart?
June 26, 2023
![Vea4_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_t[1]](http://arnoldit.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Vea4_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_t1-31.gif "Vea4_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_t[1]")
Note: This essay is the work of a real and still-alive dinobaby. No smart software involved, just a dumb humanoid.
I read “Amazon’s vision: An AI Model for Everything.” Readers of these essays know that I am uncomfortable with categorical affirmatives like “all”, “every”, and “everything.” The article in Semafor (does the word remind you of a traffic light in Lima, Peru?) is an interview with a vice president of Amazon Web Services. AWS is part of the online bookstore and digital flea market available at Amazon.com. The write up asserts that AWS will offer an “AI model for everything.” Everything? That’s a modest claim for a fast moving and rapidly changing suite of technologies.
Amazon executives — unlike some high-technology firms’ professionals — are usually less visible. But here is Matt Wood, the VP of AWS, explaining the digital flea market’s approach to smart software manifested in AWS cloud technology. I thought AWS was numero uno in the cloud computing club. Big dogs don’t do much PR but this is 2023, so adaptation is necessary I assume. AWS is shadowed by Microsoft, allegedly was number two, in the Cloud Club. Make no mistake, the Softies and their good enough software are gunning for the top spot in a small but elite strata of the techno world. The Google, poor Google, is lumbering through a cloud bedecked market with its user first, super duper promises for the future and panting quantum, AI, Office 365 with each painful step.
In a gym, high above the clouds in a sky scraper in the Pacific northwest, a high powered denizen of the exclusive Cloud Club, experiences a chest pain in the rarified air. After saying, “Hey, I am a-okay.” The sleek and successful member of an exclusive club, yelps and grabs his chest. Those in the club express shock and dismay. But one person seems to smile. Is that a Microsoftie or a Googler looking just a little bit happy at the fellow member’s obvious distress? MidJourney cooked up a this tasty illustration. Thanks, you plagiarism free bot you.
The Semafor interview offers some statements about its goals. No information about AWS and its Byzantine cloud pricing policies, nor is much PR light shed on the yard sale approach to third party sourced products.
Here are three snippets which caught my attention. (I call these labored statements because each seems as if a committee of lawyers, blue chip consultants, and interns crafted them, but that’s just my opinion. You may find these gems worthy of writing on a note card and saving for those occasions when you need a snappy quotation.)
Labored statement one
But there’s an old Amazon adage that these things are usually an “and” and not an “or.” So we’re doing both.
Got that? Boolean, isn’t it? Even though Amazon AWS explained its smart software years ago, a fact I documented in an invited lecture I gave in 2019, the company has not delivered on its promise of “off the shelf, ready to run” models, packaged data sets, and easy-to-use methods so AWS customers could deploy smart software easily. Like Amazon’s efforts in blockchain, some ideational confections were in the AWS jungle. A suite of usable and problem solving services were not. Has AWS pioneered in more than complicated cloud pricing?
Labored statement two
The ability to take that data and then take a foundational model and just contribute additional knowledge and information to it very quickly and very easily, and then put it into production very quickly and very easily, then iterate on it in production very quickly and very easily. That’s kind of the model that we’re seeing.
Ah, ha. I loved the “just.” Easy stuff. Digital Lego blocks. I once stayed in the Lego hotel. On arrival, I watched a team of Lego professionals trying to reassemble one of the Lego sculptures some careless child had knocked over. Little rectangles littered the hotel lobby. Two days later when I checked out, the Lego Star Wars’ figure was still being reassembled. I thought Lego toys were easy to use. Oh, well. My perception of AWS is that there are many, many components. Licensees can just assemble them as long as they have the time, expertise, and money. Is that the kind of model AWS will deliver or is delivering?
Labored statement three
ChatGPT may be the most successful technology demo since the original iPhone introduction. It puts a dent in the universe.
My immediate reaction: “What about fire, the wheel, printing, the Internet?” And I liked the fact that ChatGPT is a demonstration. Let me describe how Amazon handles its core functions. The anecdote dates from early 2022. I wrote about ordering an AMD Ryzen 5950 and receiving from Amazon a pair of red female-centric underwear.
This red female undergarment arrived after I ordered an AMD Ryzen 5950 CPU. My wife estimated the value of the giant sized personal item at about $4.00US. The 5950 cost me about $550.00US. I am not sure how a warehouse fulfillment professional or a poorly maintained robot picker could screw up my order. But Amazon pulled it off and then for almost a month insisted the panties were the CPU.
This picture is the product sent to me by Amazon instead of an AMD Ryzen 5950 CPU. For the full story see, “Amazon: Is the Company Losing Control of Essentials?” After three weeks of going back and forth with Amazon’s stellar customer service department, my money was refunded. I was told to keep the underwear which now hang on the corner of the computer with the chip. I was able to buy the chip for a lower price from B+H Photo Video. When I opened the package, I saw the AMD box, not a pair of cheap, made-heaven-knows-where panties.
What did that say about Amazon’s ability to drive the Bezos bulldozer now that the founder rides his yacht, lifts weights, and ponders how Elon Musk and SpaceX have become the go-to space outfit? Can Amazon deliver something the customer wants?
Several observations:
First, this PR effort is a signal that Amazon is aware that it is losing ground in the AI battle.
Second, the Amazon approach is unlikely to slow Microsoft’s body slam of commercial customers. Microsoft’s software may be “good enough” to keep Word and SharePoint lovers on the digital ranch.
Third, Amazon’s Bezos bulldozer drivers seem to have lost its GPS signal. May I suggest ordering a functioning GPS from Wal-Mart?
Basics, Amazon, basics, not words. Especially words like “everything.” Do one thing and do it well, please.
Stephen E Arnold, June 26, 2023
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